I still don’t. but here is what I learned.

  1. Family is all you have. At the end of the day these are going to be the people who check on you, show up for you, and squeeze you tight when the pieces need to be put back together.
  2. Prayer works! I use to pray and pray and pray to ask God, Budda, and the universe to just start to turn things around. I would ask if I made the right decision, and promised I wouldn’t be a dick anymore if things would just get a little better. …. It did!
  3. Sisterhood. Sisterhood. Sisterhood. My sisters showed up and showed out for me while I struggled and was mean and ungrateful. I cannot even imagine how I would have gotten through this transition without these amazing women in my life. They never let me forget where I came from, who I was, and the value that I add. I will always be indebted to them for coming to my side during one of the roughest patches. If you don’t have a couple of strong friends on your team, get some! They are worth more than gold!
Soul Sister
  1. Use your voice. Use it loud. And use it early. I was being mistreated at work and constantly told I should have never been hired, I was too blue, and I had no experience. My new boss was tearing me down daily. Finally, I said something, I tried to quit. That wouldn’t have gone well, remember that racial uprising yea well I am the ONLY African American in the entire organization. I’ve since had to go to HR, but note that I spoke up from day one. The only person who is going to advocate for you in the world is you. If you believe you are being treated unfairly, tell a trusted person at work, go to HR anonymously, write a letter, I promise you do not have to take it and sit there questioning yourself. I felt so bad for myself at one point I couldn’t do the things I was good at well either. No Bueno. Don’t let other people steal your shine.
  2. You can leave. I remember one time I was talking to one of my mentors. Complaining about my boss. Complaining about my circumstances. He told me to leave. He said, “Quit”. I was shocked. I said “But I have a two-year contract” He explained “We all have contracts but if this isn’t where you want to be leave.” I took this as inspiration because I love the dramatics. But, he was right I did have a choice, I could have left. However, I chose to stay and now I am flourishing!




Writer. Lover. Mistaker.

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Writer. Lover. Mistaker.

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